July 5th.

Today is the day you were born.

Only, this year is unlike the past 43 years because you’re not here to celebrate with us.

Today, you would have been 44 years old. An age you’ll never get to be. You won’t see 50. You won’t grow old. You’ll always be 43. And I wish I could say that I’m just happy you were alive on Earth for that many years, but I’m not. Because you were too young to leave us. You were too young to have to go.

And I wish I could type out some elegant, inspirational message about your legacy, and the memories you left us with. I wish I could write consoling words to make it hurt less today. I wish I could thank you for everything, and be grateful that you’re not suffering anymore. But I can’t do any of that today. It hurts too much.

I can’t look at the past because the moments with you we can’t ever get back are too painful. And I can’t look towards the future, because it’s all going to be without you.

All I can do today is look around at the life that you’ve left us with. The boys, my daughters, myself. We’re here because you made us. Without you, none of us would be. And for that, we can remember this day, July 5th, because it’s the day you came into this world. And even after death, that truth will always remain.

Happy birthday, Dad. We love you always.

 

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